Unless it was all just a dream…

Wassup

Last night, 20 naked women broke down the front door of our house and searched the premises for evidence of illegal deductions for donations and contributions-in-kind for pro-life organizations. We were handcuffed during the search and only belatedly shown a badge by the one IRS officer who was wearing one. She and the rest were, of course, fully armed with Glock handguns only briefly unholstered. Apparently, a ‘concerned neighbor’ had called to report witnessing a large box of money delivered to our address by the Postal Service. Large boxes of money always mean illegal activity and probably violent intent. They said.

When they left, empty handed and still absent clothing of any sort beyond gun belts, they did not apologize. Local police, who had shown up to watch the proceedings, helped refasten the front door temporarily until it can be repaired. They had little information and no other assistance to offer except for the parting remark by one, “Thought a bunch of bareass femdoms with guns would be sexier. That cellulite stuff is sure a bitch though…”

Proof in the form of the one photo I was able to take through the window as they waited outside for the battering ram to do its dirty work. My wife is not happy, the cats are hiding, and (one bright spot!) Zippy the papillon is finally quiet after having barked continuously throughout the ordeal. He does not like intruders on his property. Neither do I.

Unless it was all just a dream… Don’t think so, though it might have been occasioned by this Instapunk Returns post of mine from June 2022. It’s called “Is there a hot new organizational force in the Pro-Roe ranks?,” and it’s definitely Not Safe for Work. As Poe once asked, “Is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream?” Your call.